Money Laundering

It finally happened. Apparently, according to Karen, I am a terror for leaving hankerchiefs in my pockets. This time, dumping my wet and muddy jeans (we’d been fishing you see) in the basket, I neglected to remove my wallet.

Powder, softener, water, 1200rpm spin and a tumble-dry later, the black thing emerged just before it was subjected to ironing.

My “H-bomb” business cards and the more sobre “Howard V. Smith” versions were reduced to black and white sludge respectively. The £10 and £20 notes held up reasonably well although they had taken on new darker hues and looked like high quality fakes now. My driving license came through quite well, as did my Spanish fishing license (good to see it is long lasting having taken so much effort to acquire).

The credit cards, our flexible friends, proved indeed “flexible”. They had been moulded into the more rounded shape of my well-worn wallet. My guthot gold card was the worst-off – caked in a paper mache of washed and dried business cards, and a bit shrivelled. But I feared the worst for the rest of them – hard to believe the magnetic identities would survive wash & blow-dry.

However, I tried them all in the ATMs and they seem to be OK. I swapped the slightly damp notes in the bank for new ones and we’re good to go. Apparently I can get a new driving license online easily enough if it seems necessary.

In passing, I would mention that I was impressed with the NatWest branch. Obviously not a difficult transaction but I observed as I queued up that the staff there seemed to handle all the transactions for those in front confidently. In my case, the cashier knew how to handle defaced notes and I luckily knew enough about modern money laundering concerns to have ID with me.

So, impressed with NatWest – I always have a soft spot for them of course having worked there way back when. That, and the fact that the comparisons with Nationwide (not a bank, and it shows) and BBVA In Spain (Spanish, heaven help us) are pretty easy ones !