Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Clueless in Cadiz

I have been very impressed with the standard of the tours on our Mediterranean cruise. On our cruising debut last year we did not participate in any of the organized tours and in fact we only left the boat once, for less than an hour.

I don’t think that getting off the boat is an essential ingredient for a successful cruise, but with two weeks at sea it made sense to make a few stops. Karen waded through the enormous brochure.

We visited Monaco/Monte Carlo, Pisa and Cagliari. The boys and I went to a water park at the Rome stop.

On all of those I was struck by the high level of organization and the precise timings. I thought the tour guides did an excellent job in all respects (exceeding my expectations significantly). You might say it’s not a difficult job, but in my opinion it’s not easy to do it really well.

Today’s trip to the Cadiz water park Aqualand fell far short. Since all the tour escort had to do was get us on the bus, give us our tickets and arrange to get us all back on time, you might say it was hard to go far wrong.

However, although he did meet the low bar of not losing anyone, it was a seriously unimpressive performance !

Even before we left port he managed to be off by 4 on the headcount and the supervisor had to sort it out. He didn’t really speak English and met all questions with no answer beyond a shrug of the shoulders.

Our trip was not billed as a guided tour but his total silence on the 40minute trip was a weak performance. Our escort to the Rome park took the opportunity to tell us something “for free” about our surroundings, and also explained very clearly where we were going, what would happen etc. This makes a good deal of difference to the feeling that everything is under control.

The contrast was total.

On arrival, our escort today made a good effort to lose people on the way to the gate. He did state the time and place for our rendezvous at the end of the day. However, when we came back later he was not there to greet us, and eventually he showed up late at a different location. After he made no apparent effort to consolidate those who had found him and those who had duly arrived at the meeting point, most of us made our own way to the bus.

It wasn’t that we felt there was a serious chance of us being left behind, but it was clearly badly organized and “clueless” was the unanimous verdict among those on the trip.

Now, the waterpark itself was a nice facility: in good condition and well laid out.

However, “clueless” applied very well to the business running the park.

For a start, I seriously question the wisdom of opening the park at 11am in high season. It’s already very warm at 9am (say).

The enormous queues for tickets and entrance tell me very clearly that they could and should have got people in much earlier. Thankfully we did escape the main queues with our “group” tickets but I would have been furious that it wasn’t possible to arrive early to get any kind of jump on the queues inside.

Once inside, it was a 45minute queue to get a key for a locker. Just 2 people serving the entire mass of people. I estimate the 45 minutes, as I gave up waiting. Instead, we went to find a seat and shade.

Now, there was a charge for the sunloungers. I’m not delighted about that but if the business decision is to have lowish entrance prices and charge for everything else, then they should at least collect the fees. We saw no one taking the money all day.

When I went back to rent a locker after waiting 30 minutes, the queues were as long as ever.

Crazy to have so few staff at that key bottleneck.

We abandoned the locker mission and just hoped for the best. We now discovered that queue management was not a strong suit. The over-riding impression of the slides was that no one was on them. This was not for lack of people queuing up to ride, but somehow they contrived to have a 3 minute gap between each actual rider. Even allowing for the fact they need to ensure absolute safety, the fact is that it was poor ride control that massively exacerbated the problem.

We managed to get one ride on a relatively fast-loading ride (6 lanes). But still the method of sequencing the queue must have added at least 50% to the gap between rides.

We decided it was time for a drink. Could we find a drink? We could not. There were no signs for bars or cafes, no bars or cafes in sight. Our seats were actually next to a pizzeria – shut. At 1pm with the park packed. The bar next to the locker queue was shut.

There were so many places where they could and should have had a drinks stall or a vending machine or a mobile drinks seller.

Eventually we found they did have one cafe open. Two people were attending to a queue that was already growing fast. Apparently one person fulfilling orders in the back.


The food was nice, in fact, but the queue got only worse from then and later it was inconceivable to try to buy another drink. This has to be a classic lose-lose.

Later they did open one of the closed bars – with one staff member doing everything.

Simply incredible. The good news was that the few staff on duty were friendly and relatively efficient, and the customers were fairly placid although obviously frustrated.

There were more people taking the inevitable photographs of visitors (does anyone ever buy them ?) than employed in the entire food & beverage business in the park.

One place where we can give full marks was for plenty of bins for depositing rubbish, but since the availability of food & drink was so strictly rationed, there wasn’t much call for rubbish bins !

Still, thankfully we had had a good dose of water rides in Rome so we had a splash around in the pools and amused ourselves marvelling at the spectacle of bad management. Perhaps the park was supposed to double as an exhibit of Spanish business efficiency. It reminded me very much of some experiences in Spain last year (see the fishing licence and banking fiasco blogs !)

Thursday, 6 August 2009

Badminton Trials

The point of no return appears to have passed whereby I cannot beat the boys at anything (poker, hopefully, being a significant and possibly unique exception).

This is especially true of sports of all types, although video games of all genres are now also included. That’s rather concerning, although they do have tremendous opportunities to practice hand-eye co-ordination for video sports that I never had.

Their total superiority in video games was brought home on the cruise. The Independence of The Seas has an impressive arcade with many good quality games of all types. I was only able to beat Harry on one game of motorcycle racing (no idea why – he crushed me on the car racing games of various formats) and at Sinistar [on a very good multi-games console].

In the Sinistar, since I scored only 1/60th of my world record mark from the 1986-9 era, I wasn’t that impressed with my own efforts.

Back in real sports, it was not so long ago that I had to give considerable concessions to Matt and Harry at all racquet sports in order to make a game of it. Now, both can beat me and Matt is now capable of soft-playing to give me the appearance of having a chance (then powering over the line). Harry is not yet as strong, but soon will also leave me far behind.

Actually, Harry is probably just at the level where it’s a genuinely close game in some sports.

We played badminton just before we came away. We are both pretty bad in absolute terms, but I find badminton between somewhat-matched opponents is enjoyable at a poor standard in the way that tennis or squash is not.

The first set went close, with Harry eventually prevailing 15-13. In the second set, I got off to a flying start and held on to win 15-13 myself. Now in the 3rd set, I fell 12-2 behind before making a massive surge to actually have the first match point at 15-14 up following a prolonged “deuce” at 14-14.

Did I “let” Harry get so far ahead to begin with in the 3rd set ? Did Harry “let” me catch up?

Who knows but the battle at 14-14 and beyond was genuinely close. After I failed to close out several match points at 15-14 and 16-15, Harry eventually came through to steal the match 15-13, 13-15, 18-16 with just a minute or so to spare before we would have run out of court-time.

I will have to try hard to pull off any victories before it is too late.

Saturday, 27 June 2009

A - Z

My A - Z of poker is available (in supposedly daily instalments) on poker actually and also on my gutshot.com blog.

I am planning to blog from Vegas itself of course.

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Karma Chameleon

I had made my plans for Vegas well in advance this year.

My plans were to NOT play the $10,000 world championship main event. Instead, I booked a mid-June trip for 7 nights. My aim was to play in 2 or 3 of the side events and play some cash.

However, fate intervened. A friend qualified for the main event in a "double shootout" event. To succeed in this, one must win two consecutive 1-table tournaments, effectively beating 80 other players who each put up $200 or so.

As I didn't have $200 in my account, I played a double shootout to qualify for the double shootout.

To cut a long story short, I won 4 consecutive single-table tournaments to turn an $8 investment into a $12,000 WSOP package ! The long story is on my poker blog.

With the karma running this well, I certainly had to change my plans. It was possible to take a cash alternative but of course I chose to play the event.

Last year I qualified for an investment of $5. This year, $8.

This doesn't quite tell the whole picture, but it's going to be a pretty amazing story if I go on to win $10million in July !

More realistically, I do hope to make the money places this year - a tough but achievable goal.

Friday, 29 May 2009

Eggs Marks The Spot

Friday 29th May, Central London

Lights, Camera, Action !

Rather unbelievably I am here to audition for the BBC2 quiz show "Eggheads".

I can safely say that I have no ambitions to be famous for 15 minutes, or indeed any number of minutes. I did not apply to be on the show. In fact I don't want to be on it at all, so why am I here ?

I had reluctantly agreed to be a 2nd-sub for a team that was put together by members of the Gutshot forum. It seemed a distant prospect that I would actually need to take part.

For a start, it wasn't certain that a new series of the show would be commissioned. Then, our team might not be selected even to audition. If the team were called up, then at least I would be a reserve reserve.

Well .... of course the 11th series was given the go-ahead, and "Team Gutshot" was selected to audition. It then turned out that I was first reserve (6th of 5, rather than 6th of 4) and that the team captain had (unbeknownst to me) promoted me to the front bench on account of one member being noticeably unreliable.

To be fair, this was still an audition. I can still hope that we do not get to appear on the real show!

The nuts and bolts of the reality of TV is pretty mundane. We had to fill our names & other details for the umpteenth time, and then we actually answered some general knowledge questions. Next, a practice quiz against another auditioning team.

I actually won my round on science which included the poser: "What tiny ocean creature makes up the main diet of Wales ?". Once I realised that Lauren was talking about "whales" I was able to find the right answer.

Finally, we were filmed talking about the team and chorusing "Hello, We're Team Gutshot And We're From London".

It was all pretty low key. The "Green Room" was more of a "Green Kitchen" really. Actually it was a kitchen and it wasn't green although the chairs were a pale lime colour. The coffee machine didn't work. We stars shouldn't be treated like this !

After our turn on camera we were not given the results of our written general knowledge quiz, we weren't shown the footage which was for the eyes of the producers only, and we were told "we'll call you". The "don't call us" was of course understood.

Sunday, 24 May 2009

Luck Of The Oar

Friday 22nd May, National Schools Regatta at Nottingham.

A full day of racing starting at 10:00, up until 18:27. BMS had crews potentially rowing in both the first and last races, so a long day's spectating in prospect.

First off at 10:00, the girls J14 Quad missed out on qualification in the time trials by a second or so.

Matt's first outing was at 11:30; 17 B-class boats took part in a "processional" along the short course (1km) on Holme Pierrepoint's specialist rowing lake (2km is the full distance). The top 12 crews (racing against the clock) qualify for the semis, which are raced side-by-side.

They seemed to put in a good row, but we didn't get to find out the result for an hour or so (when they duly had qualified).

The A boat, in their processional, overtook the boat in front so they were fairly clear qualifiers. 18 from 30 to progress to their semis.

In the "B semi, windy conditions meant the crews had a "free start" when the officials judged the 6 boats were in line. As it was, BMS were over a length down when they went off and they struggled to catch up. They finished 6th of 6, with the top 3 to go through. However, their time would have been enough to put them in the top 3 in the second semi. So, a very tough draw finished off their regatta.

Meanwhile, the A boat easily finished in the top 2 in their semi (3 semis with top 2 only to qualify). They ought to have a good chance in the 6-boat final - the last race of the day.

However, luck intervened. The #6 in the boat cut with hand in the semi, lost a fair amount of blood and went into shock. He had to be substituted. As the crew rowed up to the start, one of the gates holding the blades broke. The boys had to row back the length of the course to replace the part. On the way back they collided with Hampton and this resulted in another crew member sustaining a race-ending injury (and a trip to hospital).

The race start was delayed for up to 20mins under the regulations and a 2nd substitution was made. The re-organised crew rowed back to the start line again and having already covered about an extra 1500metres of water they finally lined up.

The final was close, and the crew put in a valiant effort to finish a solid 5th only a couple of lengths behind the leading boats. The winning crew from King's Chester may have been too strong in any case but mishaps definitely cost them a medal.

Friday, 15 May 2009

Magic Marker

Recently one year elapsed since my departure from Bear Stearns.

All the anniversaries have now passed: one year since (i) I decided to resign, (ii) I actually tendered my resignation, (iii) my resignation was accepted, (iv) my actual last day in the office, (v) the day that would have been my last day (had the firm not collapsed), and finally (vi) my official last day of employment.

The anniversary tournament "BSPT9" was a great success: 104 people turned up (90% of whom were Bear alumni).

Somehow, passing the magic one year mark has caused me to reconsider my decision to leave the markets. My original plan was to leave "indefinitely" and 1 year away was certainly a minimum.

I am now looking actively. We do know that I won't be returning to Bear Stearns, which formally ceased to exist sometime in June last year. However, with former colleagues scattered in dozens of firms now, there are obviously rather better chances that I end up working with some of the same people.